Healing for You and Your Practice with Xonna Clark|

Business and Marketing for Massage and Bodywork Therapists

Episode 51.

MINDY TOTTEN: Hey hey there. Welcome Xonna Clark to the Do It With Intention podcast!

Xonna: Thank you, Mindy.

Mindy: Yeah. I'm so excited that you're here. I'm so excited to talk with you about some really interesting things that we started talking about before.

But before we jump into that, can you share something with my listeners and with me that very few people know about you and then I'll do the same.

 Xonna: one time I traveled to India, I traveled there on business and then I stayed for some pleasure. And my flight was leaving at three in the morning and I had to get to know my flight was leaving at five in the morning. I had to be there by three. So I got to the airport 2:15 AM in India in Bombay Mumbai.

And the plane, the gate was locked and here I was stuck in an airport in India where nobody was speaking English at two something in the morning. And I was like, okay, God, what do I do with this…

It's a good example about how I think about things. And instead of feeling going into panic mode in this midst of this potential major tragedy, I just said, okay, I know this and the answer, I know there's a solution.

I can see that I'm going to get home. All of this is going to work, and I just knew that. And so I found somebody eventually who spoke some English and they got an attendant and I explained the situation. And at first he kind of brushed me off and then he said, let me have your ticket and let me have your passport.

And I was like, whew.

Mindy: Oh boy.

Xonna: do I trust in what I just prayed for or not? and I decided to trust. And it did work out. I did get home.

Mindy: Wow. Wow. that's a great lesson. yeah. I am not that trusting yet. I think I would have been more like, Oh my God, you say God, do I do.

I would been Oh my God, what do I do? but it did work out. I love that. My, my thing, a few people know about me is not nearly as exciting or as adventurous. It's a brand new thing, actually, because very few people know about this because I just decided, I haven't had my hair cut since February.

Because of the whole pandemic thing and stuff, and it just keeps getting longer and longer. And it is so out of hand, it hasn't been this long, probably since high school. And so I just decided that I'm going to continue to grow it and then cut 10 inches off or 12 inches, whatever, and give it to LA. Yeah, because it is just Out of hand right now. So that's my little gift.

Xonna: But what a wonderful gift. That's a gift, right? Re-purposing your hair and your hair is beautiful. In fact, I was just looking at a picture of you today from one of your other podcasts. And I was like, wow, maybe he has the most. Beautiful hair.

Mindy: It's an incredibly kind thing to say. Thank you.

So everyone, I am so delighted to introduce you, Xonna Clark to you because she is a remarkable person. I want you to start off. If you woods on a buy. Briefly cause this could take us hours probably briefly telling folks about that slew of alphabets that you have after your name. So you are,

Xonna: think about what they are.

Mindy: So what would you say if somebody said, Oh, what kind of work do you do? Cause I know you have a variety of things you do. Can you share some of those with our listeners?

Xonna: Wow. that's a different question. That's a difficult question because it is something that's more thing. but I would say ultimately I'm a multi-passionate entrepreneur.

so that was a term that I heard once for people that have several passions and they're, interested in and are. Providing services to the world based on all of those passions. So as my initial, initials after my main, where J D because I was a lawyer, I was a corporate lawyer for general electric for 18 years.

And I thought that was the life of success. but then it started to impact my health. And I took those symptoms that was showing up when I got hypertension, chin and prediabetes. And then one day ended up in a doctor's office where he was using the word cancer 25 times in 10 minutes. I said, okay. these are wanting signs.

They're not just, I'm getting older. These are actual warning signs that something needs to change. And so I did, I changed and I stopped listening to my heart. And then that led me to, a wellness career, which is where I had one foot in the door, even as an attorney. So I got certified in my yoga. back in 1998.

So that was early in my attorney career. And then I did a culinary program during that time, and I was always teaching people about health. And then I just decided to take the leap, take them plunge and step off the curb and do it. And so I just left LA, and spirit guided me to the right imperfect program.

Came via an email to some conference and I never, I hardly ever just opened up. Random emails. And I decided for some reason to open that email and it was to a webinar and I decided to listen. And at the very end of the webinar in closing, they announced that there was an integrative nutrition program in Maryland.

And I was living here in South Carolina and I was like, wow, that's it. Wow. No wonder I was led to open this email. So yeah. So that led me to the credentials in health and wellness. And so I'm a coach and I'm a integrative functional nutritionist and a licensed dietician. They kind of go hand in hand. so yeah, that's kinda my array passions.

Mindy: I love that. And Xonna, you and I met at a conference like a CEO. Retreat is what it was called,a CEO conference. And we'll link to that in the show notes with Rachel Cook, we met there and something that I always was attracted to her resonated with you is that you are this, Really highly educated Uber intelligent person, but also grounded and the sense of grace and I love the intersection and that's what we're going to talk about today.

A little bit. I love the intersection of what my listeners will call the woo. I know everyone listening knows what I mean by whoop. So the intersection of woo and also having a successful. Business, you know that you can't do one without the other, right. A lot of massage and bodywork therapists try to approach their business from a place of just, I'm just going to do my vision board and it all manifests rather than taking the practical steps forward. So I'm super excited to jump in with you today and everyone who's listening.

This is how this came about. I'm doing a Kundalini yoga class with Xonna. We are on day 60 now or something like that. Yeah. It was similar to what you were just describing. I didn't really even know what Kundalini yoga was, but I was resonating with this thing and I was like, okay, clearly I'm supposed to take this.

And it's been very transformative for me. Very helpful for me. And so Xonna and I were talking about a couple of things and I was like, I think this could apply to business as well. So jumping into this, I want to ask you about, we're talking about Kundalini yoga, we often, or you often suggest that we notice what we notice. Notice what we noticed and I love that term. So in our, maybe you tell us a little bit about what you mean by that.

Xonna: first I want to say that, it's very fortuitous. You mentioned that you can, you have to have both the business side and you have to have this wound side to make a successful, fulfilling business. because as I was thinking earlier today about what I was going to talk about, And I said, that's really the point because you can't, you do have to understand the business logistics and how to make it run, but that's not all you can do.

You definitely have to be aligned with. This higher order of the universe and bring the two together. so we are aligned right there, cause we both had the same intention for this talk today. Perfect.

Mindy: Yeah. So when you talk about, noticing what you notice so we'll put business aside for just a second.

So I think a lot of listeners out there kind of get this, but can you talk about that a little bit? What is this notice what you notice.

Xonna: and it's not something where you have to put business aside. It's an instant expression. I did not coin that expression. That expression came from Mary Morrissey, who does this whole vision, life dream building program, but the concept is that, our mind directs everything. So what we're thinking is going to direct how we're feeling about things that directs the words that come out of our mouth that directs the actions that we choose to take. And that directs how habitually we do it. So our habits, and then that leads to the results of anything.

And so since our. Life and our business, all STEM from those thoughts that go on in our mind, we need to be mindful of what these thoughts are. So when I say notice what you're noticing, it's like our mind is noticing everything our mind takes in all of this information. It filters information and then it kind of spews out emotions as a result.

Yeah. We don't notice what we're noticing. Then we wonder why results look like they have, they do wonder why are no clients come in the doors? why is this person who I thought was a great client now leaving? Why am I feeling so stressed out? But if we notice where our thoughts are, so you notice what your mind is noticing, then you can mindful of are my thoughts constructive.

are they the type of thoughts that are going to generate a feeling that I want to feel like calmness, like peace, like a deep trust faith knowing, or my thoughts in fear mode, right. Oh my God. We're in the pandemic. I can't get to my clients. I'm going to starve to death. where do I go? And none of us can control all of our thoughts.

So it's not about controlling your thoughts, it's about noticing them. And then when you see your thoughts going down a path that's not comfortable for you, that's not generating the feeling that you want to feel. you can pause. You can pause. You can take a breath, you can go for a walk or a Mindy's case.

You can step outside your door and it'd be at the ocean.

Mindy: as you're saying, as Xonna, I'm thinking about neutrality. So in many modalities in the bodywork world, we are taught to come from a place of neutral. So yeah. It's really, in the yoga world, I think you would use the word presence.

So being very neutral, being very present, and then just allowing the client to show up as he or her will show up. And we do this in our modality. We noticed, what do we notice? What comes into our hands? What are we drawn to? And, responding that way. And I hadn't thought of it before, as you're describing.

starting to think of that in terms of your business as well. So like the example you just use, which I think every single body worker, at least in America, probably all over the world did, which was, Oh, crap, we're doomed. What is going to happen? if we can take a step back from some of that fear and come from a place of neutral, In regards to our business, we can yeah.

Then step back and notice, okay. What's actually happening. Oh I'm cause I have so many students in the bodywork project who said, my revenue hasn't gone down at all or I'm making more now than I did before another shutdown or, but if you don't take that time, make that space to notice.

Xonna: Yeah.

Mindy: You just go down that rabbit hole,

Xonna: right? Yeah. Yeah. It's so easy to go down the rabbit hole, all of us. And even after these principles and you've been practicing these principles, you'll still find yourself going down the rabbit hole, but you can come back to that point and neutrality.

Quicker. and that's really the key, in Kundalini yoga, we do talk about that there's a positive mind. There's a negative mind. And then there's the neutral mind. And the goal is to be at neutral mind. We don't want to be Pollyanna and not, think that the appearance of things is different than, as it appears to be.

You don't want to be there. but yeah, you also don't want to be in the doom and gloom. Mode, you want to get to where you can be a little dispassionate, like a little detached, and almost watching from as if you're a third person.

Mindy: why? Yes. The observer, right? The observer kind of watching. I that's how I can get out of my own emotions.

And crazy is just to I can sometimes see myself acting. Like a crazy person.

Xonna: Yeah. Yeah. I have

Mindy: to say this morning at the post stuff where I was like, my head is exploding. Like it's exploding in front of these people. And I was like, I had to watch and go, okay, man, they breathe. Just take it easy, I think that's really. Really important for all of us right now, because the number one thing that I'm hearing from my students and from people in this community is money. It's so uncertain. I don't know what's going to happen. how do I plan if I don't know what's going to happen? How do I show up for my people?

If I don't know what's going to have, and that's a fact, right? None of us says what's going to happen, right. But something that has come into my mind is on, I'd be curious, what you think about this? Something that's coming to my mind is that the pandemic has. In some ways hasn't changed certain truths.

It's just bring, it's just brought them into bold relief, for example, when I say, Oh, and nobody knows what's going to happen. nobody ever knows what's going to happen.

Xonna: Right. Right. Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I agree with that. A hundred percent uncertainty is something that we as human beings, most of us are very.

Uncomfortable with, is that part of us some college that you go part of this that loves the comfort zone that loves the known, that loves for things to stay the same, to stay in status quo. but life is ever evolving and ever changing and there's always elements of uncertainty. And yes, when we can get comfortable in the uncertainty.

Then we can see all the possibilities, right. When we resist it, you're blocked. Right. So what you resist persists. So if we, I think I said that this morning, so if we were as this. Like discomfort and not knowing and, and even resistant fear. Right. If we resist the fear, you're going to feel more of it.

But if you say, okay, I don't know what's going to happen. Yes. I do feel fear. I do feel that, But how can I be friends that fear? How can I feel the fear and do it anyway? I think that's a book, right?

Mindy: yeah. Yeah. Just keep

Xonna: stepping into it. So yeah, there's, it's all about how you. Choose to look at something.

Mindy: Yeah. Yeah. And as you're talking, I just thought of another parallel with bodywork, with our bodies. So we see so many people who have been in chronic pain for such a long time and they are understandably so trying to resist the pain, So there comes a secondary pain from holding and trying to resist the pain that causes more pain.

To come up because they're holding onto this way. And so we'll often say in different modalities, is it possible to lean into this pain? Is it possible to read through this pain? And often, like you're saying, just meeting it where it is processing through, it will allow it to dissipate much more easily or quickly or gracefully than trying to.

Yeah. Yeah.

Xonna: Yeah. I mean, I think it's, Bodyworkers you have all the tools to really succeed through this pandemic and to design a practice and a life that you really love. I mean, your work is kind of intuitive work. Like you have to read the body and you have to feel in the muscles. What is going on with this person that I'm now touching?

And initiating the healing process in this body. What am I reading from this person? What do they need? What are their muscles telling me that they need? And you have to direct that through you, through your hands, to them

Mindy: facilitate that. Yes. Yeah. That's

Xonna: an extremely intuitive process that Bodyworkers practice every day with your clients. So it's really taken that skill. Yeah. That those gifts that you already have, and now applying it to not the physical body, but to the body of your practice. Right.

Mindy: Right. So again, for people listening, being like, okay, wait, this is all kind of metaphysical.

How can I ground this into something I can actually do. It can be looking at your practice. And let's say, you look at your appointment book and there's one or two people in the week instead of the 20 that you want, rather than going into this place of. Oh crap. What am I going to do? Everything's going to fall apart saying, huh?

This is interesting. I have space now, what can I do with that space? Or how can I shift this rather than going into that place of fear, which actually leads us into. Polarity what I wanted to talk to you a little bit about hilarity, and this is not for people listening. This is not, we have polarity as a modality and bodywork and quick shout out to Suzanne Otaki up in Massachusetts, a great polarity practitioner.

you and I were talking about this before polarity as a modality, but as a way of looking at. Your business. So could you give us, I don't know if this is possible or not a brief sort of outline of what polarity is in the terms that we're talking about it now.

Xonna: Yeah. So polarity tends to mean that there's, I mean, there's sides to a coin.

That's the simple way to look at it. It's always two different ways, anything. And, there's two ways to look at life, right? We can make life happen to us, allow it to happen to us. So we're living by default or we could live by design, right? So you can live by design where you are intending. What you want.

So when you look at your business and you look at that appointment book, and you only have two people on there, you can say, Oh my God, that's $10,000 that I no longer have that I used to have. And I've come to expect. Or you could say, like you said, I have space. I can only be creative when I have space.

So how can I create a service with the skills that I have that people need now that, will one allow me to reach more people? And still maintain my business practice, but maybe in a different way. Right? So maybe that allows you to take your business online and you teach people how to do self massage.

You teach them how to do reflexology, or you teach them how to do shoulder, neck massages, because now they're. Ergonomics are all out of alignment because we've been sitting on the kitchen chair for hours

Mindy: all day, I'm calling the zoom shoulders. My shoulders are like totally curled in. Yeah. and even beyond, those are great ideas for, teaching self, techniques.

And even beyond that other programs what you've created with the Kundalini challenge, doing something that compliments bodywork, Speaking with a student earlier today and we were talking to, she wanted to do more movement assessment. And I was like, Oh, that's, postural thing.

I was like, that's perfect to do online. Right. So somebody comes in and sees you, and then maybe they would come the next week, but now that's not really happening. So maybe that next week you check in with them, see how they're doing, give them homework or whatever. and so it is this, The kind of the, what do they call it?

The fertile void. So where there's the emptiness out of that emptiness can come new creations, new. Yep. So tell me if I have this right. It's on us. So in the idea of. Polarity around a business case of bodywork business. It's not just about noticing the positive or the negative, but about noticing both. Is that right?

Xonna: Yeah, because both exists, both exist. They're just blips. So it really is a Corrine is a great metaphor for it. It's just like in the universe, we have day, we have night, we have moon, we have a sun where you have earth. We have the sky, everything has this balance. It's the balance. It's the ying and the yang.

And so when we look at our business, there's always a different way. That we can provide. If you think your gift comes just through your hands, you're mistaken, right? Your gift is really you. It's your presence. It's who you are deep on the inside. That's what's drawing clients to you. And there's many way to express that presence.

So in business, my primary business has been the integrative nutrition practice and teaching people how to find their home is through the foods that they eat and the lifestyle. But. with COVID people didn't care about what they ate.

Mindy: I know I didn't, there was a lot of wine being consumed in them in the beginning.

I was like, I wasn't thinking I'm going to die. It was more like, what else is there to do right now? Four 35 o'clock somewhere or whatever.

Xonna: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Many people have the COBIT 15 or 20 or 25 because it was like, the last thing people wanted to do was follow some dietary protocol in the midst of all of this uncertainty and chaos and all.

And so I could have just shut down and said, Oh, nobody's speaking about nutrition. It's me, but. I've listened. I've listened. know, Oh, there's another side. People still need me, but they come to me for, it's not just food for the body. It's also food for their mind. It's food for their spirit. how else can I provide that to them?

Now? We're all on zoom. People want to feel connected, right? People used to love coming to my in person workshops for that sense of connection and community. Now we have to rely on zoom. And I was like, there's a lot of lonely people. There are a lot of people who are single, who are, or isolated pretty much due to COVID-19.

How can we bring them together? So when I looked at the other side of the coin, no, they don't want to focus so much on the foods that they're putting in their mouth. The other side is, can I help feed their mind? Can I help feed this? and then these creative ideas started to resonate and I just thought, okay, I was gonna teach Kundalini yoga, who wants to come to Kundalini yoga.

Nobody even knows what Kundalini yoga is, but, because of that faith and that trust. We have what we have 18 to one time we had 26 people showing up at 7:00 AM in the morning every morning,

Mindy: right? Yeah. And I will say for everyone listening, I wasn't too sure about the online. Yoga class. I mean about online any class, right.

I don't know how this is going to be and just give it a try. And I have really been amazed and I think that you're a part of this honor, but I think it's larger than you, even that you can create a community. Online, I feel a really deep connection to some of the other people in this group. all of the other people in the industry, there is an energetic component there that I think.

I thought I'll speak for myself. I thought would be missing from any online stuff, because before all this happened, what was zoom? Right. It was just a one on one thing that you talk to somebody and it was what you had to do if you weren't there in person. But now I think again, it's the polarity, right?

It's looking the other side of the coin as well. I get to do. This a wonderful practice with these incredible people that I would not be able to do if it was just offered in person. yeah, I love that recommendation and that idea for everyone who's listening. I always say how else, or in addition to what you're doing now, how can you add value or give your clients even better results?

And I loved what you said that. People were not coming to you just to learn about food and nutrition, they were coming to you for how they felt. with you working with you and that's 100% true with massage and bodywork therapists, no question for people to trust us enough, to be vulnerable, to receive the body work in the first place, they have to really have a connection with us.

And so what I've said from the beginning of this pandemic is, people are going to be starved for touch once we're all kind of back in the swing of things, but between now and then how are you going to support. Your clients are going to connect and reach out and hold space for them.

Xonna: Yeah. That's really what it is.

It's staying, it's maintaining that connection. I mean, even if you had a book club, you could have a book club that's oriented on principles that you teach through a massage, whatever that is releasing, letting go. So care, touch. there's so many possibilities for how you. Can use your gifts besides through the hands.

And now, I mean, now you can't use your hands now. I mean, the woman who's in our Kundalini yoga class is a good example of that, through yoga, she saw that, yes, it's possible for me to go back to work. And there are people who are now really, Desiring and really, thirsty basically as the word, they're really thirsty for human touch and human connection and to release some of that tension from their muscles and they do want to come to my office.

So then her creativity lighthearted to how can I make this the safest, most nourishing experience for this person? And she took some extra steps to do that. And she's seeing people. Quite a few people.

Mindy: yeah. these are all wonderful ways to think about. I was a little bit nervous. I mean, I know I wanted to do this episode and talk with you about these things, but I was a little nervous.

I'm like, what am I going to call it? Like metaphysics and the body work, And I was like, no, I'm just going to have the conversation because I think it can spark so many, Again, so many Wells of creativity, so many new ideas, new ways of connecting. I just love it. So as we're winding down, zona, will you tell us, I know that you've got a webinar coming up, vision building webinar, which is a freebie everybody.

So can you tell us a little?

Xonna: Yeah, it is This is in line with what I said about how we live our life, that we can live it by default, which is we let things happen to us, or we can live it by design. Where in life relationship with the name of this, do it with intention, right? We are clear about our intentions and then we learn the steps.

my mental status, spiritual steps that help us bring that intention into reality with ease and with grace. Yes, with joy. That's what it's all about. And so the vision workshop is where I teach you three techniques to really help to accelerate the results. So you can apply it to your practice. You could apply it to just you and what's the next step for you?

maybe the pandemic has allowed you to realize that maybe just having your massage practice is not the direction that you want to go in. Maybe it's supporting people who are massage therapist, just like you did. You made that decision before the pandemic, like you listen to your spirit, but for all of us, There's a path and there are tools and principles that make it easier.

So that's what we do in the vision workshop. So it's about an hour long workshop. It is free. You will come out of there with three tools that you could definitely apply in your life right then. And there, you can apply it towards career towards your business, his relationship towards your health.

Mindy: Yeah, I can't wait.

So we'll put a link to that in the show. So if you're interested, you can click on the show notes there at www.mindytotten.com/podcast/episode 51. So you can go there to the show notes and we'll have Xonna’s link for the webinars. If you're interested in taking that, you'll be able to find it there.

So this has been so much fun. Before we finish up, the final question I love to ask everybody is. What does doing it with intention mean to you?

Xonna: It means living life to the fullest. That's what it means to me. Okay.

Mindy: Okay. And you are certainly a great example of that.

Xonna: Yes. Yeah. When you live with intention, you'll live in from your heart, right?

Because your intentions coming from your heart and when you live from your heart, you will find a fuller, richer life.

Mindy: That's beautiful. Thank you so much for being here today. I always. Lovely to talk with you. And I'm delighted that my listeners get to be exposed to you and your ideas and your wonderful way of being. Thank you so much for joining us.

Xonna: I truly enjoyed this. You're doing marvelously so glad we're connected. Thank you, Mindy. Thanks.